Thursday, February 22, 2007

21feb07

I was so tired so vexed. Was it really my fault? Did i caused this? Somehow i knew i was the reason. And i was just trying to fool myself to make me feel better. I know how it feels, i underwent such treatment too, before. It feels bad, betrayed. I know. Why am i hurting her, when she never do anything to me before? Why? She don't even know me, i don't even know her. Why am i doing this. I dunno whether is she hurt, but i guess, most probably, she is. i feel so much like going straight t the wall, bang my head against it, and die right on the spot. My mind just couldn't stop spinning, couldn't stop hurting. wtf.

Ok. next topic. I feel so contradicting. How can i help when he dun even wan to help himself. What got him into this. Himself. Why izzit such that the sch dowan him, want him out?
1) the teachers hate him.
2) he dun turn up in sch at all.
3) he is lazy, simply no studying.
4) he did sthg wrong, veh veh wrong, which i tink he wil regret yrs ltr.
5) he had no ambitions in life.

He is a clever person. If he is willing to do it, he can get good results. I helped him. i taught him chemistry. But i found out tat his foundation for sci wasn't even there at all. =.= He dun even know the symbols for simple, common elements like potassium, calcium, sodium, chlorine, blah blah. When all these are supposed to be memorised long ago, back in sec2?
tel me how to help. He asked me for help. Yes, he want to get good grades too. But he isnt trying. I did force him to study. And he manage to absorb 1 chapter on metals. This isnt the way though. cos the whole book he isnt sure at all. he jus randomly picked tat chapter.
I shud teach him from chap 1 onwards but he just wan random pick de. lidat how to study? confirm get blur. BMC teach til so slow. how to cover all?
this year he Olvl yr, and tat stupid sch fucking hell kick him out. black hart, bo xim. bloody hell. mei you ren qing wei. couldn't they jus let him finish his sec5, at least??? fuck you.
haix... People, tell me how to help can. I dun feel like leaving him to waste his life. As he alrdy wasted by dropping into NA. HOW TO HELP??? or leave him to go simei ite meh. ==
zzzzz
you all might think tat i kpo. But if you all ever know him, know bout his past, i am sure you al wanna help too.
I just dunno how to help him.
Ok. next.
went fisherman village today wit both jxs and hami. ordered lots of food. Nice place.=))

With ♥ 9:25:00 am