Friday, November 24, 2006

Cold is the night,
cold are my hands,
cold is my heart.

I am in pain, so much pain that i have not known before.
Outside, i may seem to have everything, inside, i have completely nothing.
However materialistic i am, i want love. But i don't have that. Don't question me or tell me i have love or tell me there are tons of people worst than me.
Poor people , bankrupt people have no money, no clothes, no delicacies. But at least they have family who love them, alot alot. They lack material luxury. But they have the ultimate important thing in life-love.
I am not bankrupt, poor or well-off, but i have enough. I have clothes, shoppings, blah... but i don't have the ultimate love.
Now, if you pardon me, i would like to say some vulgars.
nbcb ccb knn kns pb tmd ctp czb wbd
ass, fucker. FUCKER. fucking asses. fuck. drivin me to the grave.
Since they don't love me, i won't waste time loving them too. An eye for an eye. If you people wanna wish the best for me, just wish. Don't tel me any 大道理 or whatever shit. You are not me, what i tolerate today, 1hr ago is unapprehendable. you are not me, you dunno how it feels like and how much heartbreak it is. my family is just so shit. so different from the rest of the families. so different. the way i am treated today is too much. too pain. seriously, i even thought of commiting suicide to make them guilty for the rest of their lives. idiots they ought to feel guilty. this is my 2nd suicide thoughts.the first one is during prelims. but i don't have the courage. to die means alot of courage. really. if only i have this much courage i won't suffer like now. i am just sitting here, seeking the comfort of my comp, wasting my precious tears.
after thinking, i thought through though. i will survive. this will not get me down, this will not kill me. however they are bad i shall tolerate. soon everything wil be over. i will win. want play rite? 本小姐玩得起。
i won't be defeated so easily. rite?
I must stand strong!!! this is nothing. 我要坚强!! 我忍, 这打不倒我！
他妈的.. 跟我闹，看谁赢 la! hymph. give me some encouragement peeps.=))

With ♥ 2:19:00 am