Sunday, August 13, 2006

i am tired. i sometimes feel tat i dun noe who am i. cos i dun understand myself. My gud frens out there, if euu all tink euu noe mi well. den too bad. euu all dun. euu all onli noe mi of the exterior. lk wat i am lk wen i mix wit euu all, wit others. but euu all dunno wat i am tinking deep down. well, i also dunno too. But honestly euu al ask urself: how much euu all noe urself? not much huh. i dunno. maybe to mi, i dunno myself. perhaps euu all noe ur ownself.?
Nahs.. forget it. i am always contradicting myself. cos i dunno wat i really really wan.
Also, i dun express myself. i love my family, euu noe? i love them alot alot. but i dun express it out, lk others. noe wat? i hav nv ever say i love you to them.dun believe izzzit? but sorry, tats de truth. today i realized tat they tot i dun lk them. its not true. i love them sooo much. though they seem over controlling at times, i stil love them. i now den realize wat i ever did was scream, shout, throw tantrums at them. and i nv really tok to them. wen i tok to them, its asking for money, telling them why i wan money. tats it. euu noe how sad it is, if my daughter ever speak to mi , onli asking for money and nthg else? how sad it is if my daughter nv say ilove you to mi since she was born? i finally realized my parents' pain. i wan to shout I LOVE YOU to them. but i jus cant do it. If i didnt overheard my parents toking jus now, i wun noe how disappointed they are in mi. i am always making them worry. i go out w/o telling them, i dun tel them my results, they always found mi unhappy and i nv told them wat make mi cry, i am always out of the house.
i realy dunno wat to do. pple. dun tink i am veh lucky. cos i am not. euu al hav much much better family than mi. cos my family seldom go out tgt. even if got, one of them wil be busy. we dun spend time tgt. i really hope to hav one family hu always spend time tgt, hu always share wit each other their probs.
i kept soo many things frm my family. how willl euu felt wen euu overheard ur parents saying how disappointed they are wit euu, and how far apart they are frm euu? i DO care.. i really do. or i wun crying while typing tis blog. =(
Pls dun tink tis of mi, dun giv up on mi can? i realy wan to be a gud daughter.
i jus hope i can finally say i love you to them. i realy dunno why i can say tat easily to my frens, but it so difficult to say to my family. Save mi.

With ♥ 11:31:00 am